Can't Go Home Again
by SergeantPixie
Summary: Elena's aunt Zoe has a hard time readjusting to small town life. Elena has a hard time adjusting after the sudden death of her parents. They lean on each other.


**AN: So this is a story I wrote for my lovely friend, Sabrina (feistyelena on tumblr) the timeline is pretty clear, Elena is Zoe's niece. Zoe is Grayson's and John's kid sister. This first chapter is pretty emotional. So tissues are highly recommended. Umm, this will eventually be Zade and Delena, but that's not gonna happen overnight, so don't hold your breath. Zoe's small town upbringing is mostly explained in this first chapter, but other bits will be revealed as the story goes on. Review if you please:) Enjoy!**

**Can't Go Home Again**

**Chapter One: They're Gone**

Zoe Hart's life falls apart months before she loses her boyfriend, the fellowship, and moves to Bluebell. Her life falls apart the night her brother John calls her to tell her their older brother, Grayson, is dead. He dies in a car accident with his wife and their daughter Elena, lives.

Zoe feels like she can't breathe because her big brother, the boy who protected her, the man who fostered her love of medicine, is dead. He will never see his children graduate. He will never walk his precious, beautiful daughter down the aisle. He will never hug Zoe and say, "hey Zoe Kitty, you get prettier every time I see you," ever again. She feels like that little girl from Mystic Falls stumbling around in her big university that first year of college, lost and scared.

It is a little known fact that Zoe Hart is from a small town in Virginia. Her father took his mother's maiden name because he liked the heart pun, but his father's name was Gilbert, and they were the descendants of one of the town founders of Mystic Falls. Her brothers are exceedingly proud of this, so they both go by Gilbert. Zoe is not proud of her small town upbringing. She's not even proud of her slight Southern twang, so she trained herself to speak like a Yankee.

There are times when she misses her Southern twang and her small town, but she's a self-made New Yorker, for better or for worse. If people in the city ask, she tells them she's from a suburb just outside of city, but no one ever does. They believe in her cynicism and black clothing. She's taught herself to forget her small town manners and love of sweet tea and Sunday Night Football—okay, not the football. But for the most part, Zoe from Mystic Falls no longer exists.

Until John calls her and she has to call her mother and tell her that her son is dead. See Jenna, Grayson's wife's sister, called John and John called Zoe which means Zoe has to call her mom, and her mom will call her dad. She doesn't feel like tough New Yorker, Zoe Hart, anymore. She feels like Zoe Gilbert. She feels like that little girl who ran for the door every time her big brother came home from college. He might be ten years older than her, but he is, was, her favorite person in the world.

She listens numbly as Johnny tells her that they drove off Old Wickery Bridge. It was a miracle that Elena lived. She can see the water slowly invading their car, spilling in, she can hear Elena's panicked shrieks, Grayson's calm assurances. She can feel their panic, and it's invading her lungs and making it hard for her to breathe.

"Zoe? Zo?" her brother calls through the phone and she's brought back to the real world, she can breathe again.

"Yeah, I'm here, Johnny," she exhales. "I'll call mom, okay?" she says wearily.

"Thank you," he breathes. "And Zoe?" he asks

"Yeah, Johnny?" she questions.

"Get here soon, you know she's gonna ask for you when she wakes up," he says grimly. Zoe's heart aches. Her little Elena who was about four inches taller than her, and twelve years younger. Her precious, little sweetheart.

"Of course, I'll book a flight as soon as I call mom and the hospital," she promises. "You tell her I'll be there, okay?"

"Okay, see you soon, I love you, Zo," John says, the relief in his voice is palpable. He was never very good with feelings, but when it comes to Elena, he's clueless. Zoe knows all about Elena's true paternity, and absentmindedly she wonders who is going to tell her that her hated Uncle John is her biological father. Grayson and Miranda were going to do it when she turned 18, but they can't now.

"I love you too, Johnny," she speaks quietly. "See you soon." She hangs up and breathes in and out shakily for several minutes. She knows she's on the verge of a panic attack, and she needs to calm down enough to call her mother and break the news. Then she has to call the hospital and her boyfriend and book a flight. She has to hold it together, if not for her mother, then for Elena and Jeremy.

Shakily she scrolls through her contacts for her mother's number. She shoves her finger onto the call button and places the phone against her ear with trembling hands. It's about 2 o'clock in the morning and there's a chance her mom won't answer for the first call.

"Zoe Hart, why are you calling me at this God forsaken hour?" her mom groans into the phone sleepily.

"Mommy?" Zoe says weakly. She hasn't called her mother 'mommy' since she was about ten-years-old. This gets her mother's attention.

"Sweetie, what's wrong?" her mom coos in concern. Zoe takes in a deep shuddering breath. She doesn't want to be the one to break her mom's heart.

"Mommy, there's been an accident, Grayson, and Miranda, I am so sorry, Mommy, they didn't make it, and Elena's in the hospital, Mommy, we have to go home," Zoe babbles like a little girl. Her mother takes in a ragged breath.

"What?" her mother asks shakily. Her voice is so small that Zoe can't hold back her tears any longer.

"They drove off Wickery Bridge, Mommy. Gray, Miranda, they're gone, Mommy. Elena was in the back seat, and she got out somehow. She's in the hospital. She hasn't woken up yet," she whispers. There is a long pause.

"I'll call your father," her mom says at last. "Will you book us a flight? I'd like to be there before Elena wakes up." Zoe let's out a sigh of relief. She was afraid her mom wouldn't be able to handle the news. She didn't want to be left alone to deal with everything.

"Okay, I'll see you soon, bye," Zoe says shakily.

"See you soon, I love you," her mom says. Zoe holds back a gasp.

"I love you, too." She can't remember the last time her mom told her she loved her. She hangs up and dials the hospital. After explaining the situation and accepting the receptionist's condolences she hangs up and calls her boyfriend. He doesn't pick up so she leaves a message.

She schedules a flight and calls her mother to tell her the time. Her mother informs her that her father will be there as soon as he can. Her mom will arrive in an hour to pick her up and they'll go to the airport together. They hang up and Zoe numbly packs her bags.

Hesitantly she packs the green leather journal she bought for Elena only the day before. Last time she was home she noticed that Elena was running out of room in her blue daisy journal, and she was going to send it to her as a surprise sometime in the next week. But a girl still needs a place for her secrets.

Finally she digs to the back of her closest and unearths the small wooden box. She opens it and shifts through leather journals and fading letters until she finds what she's looking for; a delicate bracelet with an ancient looking star charm. Deliberately she fastens it to her wrist and brings it to her nose, she breathes in deeply. The smell of vervain fills her nose and makes her slightly nostalgic for home. She only wears this bracelet when she went home, as an extra precaution.

She places all the other items back into the box and shoves it back into her closet. She pulls on a pair of jeans and her favorite black sweater. She slides on a pair of sturdy black boots and grabs her comfy leather jacket. She stuffs her phone and a magazine that she won't read into her purse. Her bags are packed, the flight is booked, she isn't ready to go. She doesn't want to accept the reality of her life. She does not want to accept that her eldest brother is gone. She wants to curl up in her bed and dream of scalpels and bagels.

But she can't. Elena needs her. Jeremy needs her. John needs her. And she won't let her family down.

* * *

The flight is silent. The flight attendants avoid them like the plague; no one tries to talk to them. Their grief is a wall between them and the rest of the world. Zoe sits with her head on her mother's shoulder, and bites her thumbnail, staring out the black window. Her mother holds her other hand encased in her own, and she fiddles with the star charm on Zoe's bracelet. Her mother wearing vervain perfume and Zoe breathes in the comforting smell.

They rent a car and drive to Mystic Falls in silence. When they get to the hospital and park they sit in the hospital in silence for several long moments. The sky is a pale blue fading into pink. The world is waking up. Grayson and Miranda Gilbert never will again. They get out of the car.

John and Jenna meet them in the lobby and silent lead them to a waiting room near the ICU. Jeremy is asleep in a chair. Zoe deposits her mother into a chair and then heads off to find a nurse. She's in her element. She can do hospitals. This is her turf, and she'll be damned if she doesn't know exactly what's going on with her niece.

She finds a nurse and introduces herself. The nurse is instantly sympathetic; she knew Zoe's brother well. It doesn't take long for Zoe to find out the extent of Elena's injuries. Broken ribs. Broken ankle. Possible concussion. Other minor cuts and bruises. She'll be moved to her own private room very soon. Zoe thanks the nurse and then heads back to her family. Jeremy is awake and her mother is fussing over him.

"She'll be okay," Zoe assures them quietly. They let out a collective sigh of relief. Jeremy stands and engulfs her in a hug; she wraps her arms around him. "It's okay kid, she's gonna be okay," she murmurs. His body shakes. They know it's a lie. She won't be okay, none of them will. At least, not yet.

He draws back and returns to his place by his grandmother. Zoe sits by her brother and he takes her hand in his. She leans her head against his shoulder and he presses a kiss to her forehead.

"She'll be moved to a private room soon," she says to him softly. He nods his head.

"Good," he sighs. Jenna stands and offers to get them some coffee. Everyone nods their thanks and she hurries off the cafeteria. The waiting has begun.

Jenna returns with the coffee and Zoe takes small sips, focusing on the simple, menial tasks of life. Breathing, blowing on her hot coffee, re-crossing her legs before they get numb—the simple everyday tasks of living. Eventually the nurse appears to inform that Elena is in her own room and to tell them the room number. She asks if anyone wants to sit with her and no one objects when Zoe stands. When Elena wakes up, it will be her favorite aunt Zoe that she'll wants to see.

She walks into the room and it takes everything in her to stop herself from crumbling to the floor. Elena looks so small and bruised in her hospital gown. Her hair is a matted, damp mess and her skin looks paper thin and paler than usual. Zoe sits next to her niece and takes her limp, clammy hand in between her small warm ones. She leans her head against the edge of the hospital bed and looks up at her unconscious niece. She looks very peaceful, like she's sleeping.

"Hey honey, it's your aunt Zoe," Zoe murmurs tenderly. "You're gonna have to wake up soon, everyone's so worried about you. I know everything feels like it's gone to hell, but I promise, it will get better. Maybe not today, or tomorrow, or even next week, but someday, it'll get better," Zoe whispers as she raises one of her hands to stroke Elena's hair out of her immobile face. "But first you gotta wake up, honey. Jer, he needs you. And your Uncle John needs to know you're okay. And I need to see those beautiful eyes, honey. Take as much time as you need, but don't leave us hanging," she says in undertone with a watery chuckle. She stands and presses a tender kiss to Elena's forehead.

She sits back down and grasps her hand again. She perches her chin atop their clasped hands and begins to hum Elena's favorite song. She sways slightly, closing her eyes as she weaves the melody into the cold air of the room.

_"Moon river, wider than a mile, I'm crossing you in style someday, oh, dream maker, you heart breaker, wherever you're going, I'm going your way," _she croons softly. Elena shifts in her unconscious state and Zoe smiles. She continues the song until she falls into a restless sleep, her head laid on the edge of her niece's hospital bed.

At some point a nurse comes in to check on Elena and smiles sadly at the image of them, the still, silent girl in the hospital bed, and the pretty doctor sleeping with her head on the bed, their hands intertwined. She leaves quietly, not wanting to wake them.

Zoe wakes to someone playing with the star charm on her bracelet. She turns her head to look at Elena. Elena smiles at her weakly and continues to fiddle with the charm. Zoe returns the smile tenderly and takes a moment to examine her niece's pale face. She looks fragile and very tired.

"Hey, honey," Zoe murmurs tenderly. The afternoon sun spills over her niece's face comfortingly, making her pale, bruised skin glow ethereally.

"Hi, aunt Zoe," Elena croaks. Zoe moves to get her a glass of water but Elena's hand clamps around her wrist weakly, so Zoe sits down again, she leans forward on her elbows and brushes Elena's hair out of her face. Elena closes her eyes and leans into her touch. For several long moments Zoe strokes her hair and Elena breathes in the scent of her aunt's expensive perfume.

"They're gone, aren't they?" Elena rasps at last, her voice breaking on the last word. Zoe slides her fingers from Elena's hair to her face. She strokes it gently and nods, holding back her tears.

"I am so sorry, honey," Zoe coos softly as Elena's face crumbles. Elena shakes her head and Zoe stands to crawl onto the bed with her. Elena scoots over and easily buries her face into Zoe's soft hair.

"It's all my fault," Elena whimpers. "Why did I have to go to that stupid party?" she spits bitterly. Zoe's heart aches for her. She wraps her arms around her niece and hugs her gingerly.

"Oh no, honey, it's not your fault, it was accident, you did not do this, it is not your fault," Zoe soothes tenderly. Her niece is too tired to argue so she simple buries her face deep into Zoe's neck and sobs. Her entire body shakes and she grasps at her aunt's waist weakly. Zoe holds her and presses a kiss to her hair.

"shhhh, it's okay, honey, let it out, shhh," Zoe hums soothingly. Elena sobs until she runs out of tears and then she simply lies there, her face buried in her aunt's hair, her body trembling with emotion.


End file.
